Completed: #31. type & format Dad's story

A few years ago, I walked into an Indigo looking to find my Dad a copy of David Foster Wallace's convocation speech "This is Water". I couldn't find one at the time (though, probably by Christmas, it was in his hands), so I browsed a table of Father's Day gifts. This little one caught my eye, because my Dad has always liked to tell his stories:






He filled it out within days, and gave it back to me to keep as a family heirloom.



I have since quietly vowed to type out his words, format them, intersperse with photos and have it professionally printed and bound.

I spent many days this late autumn devoting my time to just that - and it was a wonderful experience, in addition to a successful gift. (By the way, after numerous quotes in the GTA, Sure Print in Richmond Hill offered the fastest, most economic, short-run - single copy - print. I highly recommend them.)

Better late than never, let me introduce you to some of my favourite bits of this year's Christmas gift:

Dad, what kind of house did you grow up in, and what was the old neighbourhood like?

It was a two-bedroom bungalow, heated by a wood stove in the kitchen. The house was not insulated, and very cold in the winter. We had no running water, phone, or TV until I was 12+ years of age. Electricity was 60AMP. service, a light in each room, and the only electric appliance we had was an old hot plate with two burners. Six kids + Mom and Dad lived in this house.

The neighbourhood was very poor, and as kids we had very little. In the winter, we played hockey on an outdoor rink or pond. We would toboggan, sled ride, and snowshoe. In the summer, we played soccer and baseball in open fields, as there were no ball diamonds or soccer fields. Most families had from six to twenty+ kids in those days. Only a few families had cars, but most had horses and sled dogs to get around. In the winter, the power was out 50% of the time, so we played cards, checkers, and bingo around the coal oil lamp.

 Dad, which were your favourite pets, and what made them special?

I had a few. My first was a big sled dog that belonged to my Uncle Ralph Mitchell. His name was Teddy, and my grandparents’ place was his home. He was a big, friendly mutt of different breeds, and different shades of brown.

My second was a coal black purebred border collie that my grandparents got from Victor Maloney, a prospector who gave them the dog when he came to visit one summer when I was about 10 years old. (Mr. Maloney lived in the house above Uncle Harvey’s and Aunt Kathleen’s.) We called the dog Peep-Peep. She was a great watchdog that loved us kids. My grandparents went to Toronto one spring when I was turning 12 and Peep-Peep was at our home. Carl and I went to Barachois for an ice cream cone, and Peep-Peep chased a big truck, slid under the wheels and died on my 12^th birthday. It was not a great day.

My third favourite was our own mutt Hector, who was the ugliest dog in the world, but was so kind, and very obedient. We had no vets in those days, and Hector got distemper a few years after I left home, and died. There is a picture here somewhere with him and I on the small steps at home in Barachois.

Dad, what’s your favourite memory of your dad? Your mom?

My dad was not always the greatest, but there were times when he was drinking and he would say, because I was the smallest in the family, that he would always look after me. That meant a lot to me, even though I always knew that I would look after myself with not much help from anybody. When I got out of the Air Force in 1971, I went home for two months – December and January. I decided to go back to Toronto, and he did not want me to leave. He was not drinking when he told me this and it meant so much more that I will never forget.

My mother was the rock of the family and I have many favourite memories of her, like her singing when she ironed clothes; the smell of her home-cooking when I arrived home from working with the farmers or playing sports; working in her big vegetable garden when she was so relaxed; planting her flowers around her house, fixing up the house from a shell to having the luxuries of life like a furnace, phone, TV, running water, and appliances like a fridge and electric stove; and dressing up so well to go to the post office, Legion, Gaspe, etc. She was a small, beautiful woman.

Dad, what traits do you have that your parents also had? Which side of the family do you most resemble?

I believe I have my dad’s temper, but learned to control it better than he did. I have his stubbornness, which to this day I feel can be a positive. I have his work ethic, as he was a hard worker, and one of the best when he was younger. My mother was also a great worker, so maybe I have the combination of them both.

I have my father’s full head of hair and look like him, but I have my mother’s size. She was 4’11” at her tallest. My dad was 5’11” tall, and I am 5’4” tall. I am left-handed and so was my dad.

My dad was not very handy, so I have to say this part of being handy came from my mom’s side, as my grandfather Mr. Ritchie (as my mother called him) was very handy.

Dad, what were your first few jobs? What did you do, and do you remember how much you earned?

I worked for two farmers from the time I was nine years old until I was sixteen years of age. I did all farm work from planting crops and vegetables, cleaning out piles of animal waste in the spring of the year, spreading the waste on the fields for fertilizer, making hay and oats, cleaning salmon nets, and pumping gas at their garage. I was paid fifty cents a day, and making two dollars a day when I was sixteen years of age.

I worked as a watchman on the main river in the summer of 1969 when I was seventeen for two months. I worked 7 days a week, 12 hours a day, for $75.00 a month. The $150.00 I spent to come to Ontario with my sister Kathleen by train. Ron Brooks got me my first job at the light fixture factory where he worked in the late August of 1969. I worked in the press shop full time, 40 hours a week, at $1.65 an hour.

Dad, how did you meet Mom?

I met your Mom at her Mom and Dad’s place, as I went there on the weekends to meet other people from Gaspe, have drinks, and listen to people play musical instruments.

I think she fell in love with me right away, and how could she not. (LOL). You should ask her.

She had, and still does have, the most beautiful smile and overall she is a beautiful person.

Dad, what is one of your favourite memories of being a dad?

There are too many to name one. So here goes:

Seeing you guys take your first steps, become potty trained, first words, first day of school, open your presents at Christmas and on your birthdays, learn to write and all your homemade birthday & anniversary cards. Your graduations from primary, secondary, and University.

Taking you girls to the zoo, Wonderland, Niagara Falls, Gaspe, Montreal.

Oh, and don’t forget the racetrack at Greenwood, where I would place a bet for you girls as you picked your horse for each race (fun, fun). I can still see you girls jumping up and down as your horses crossed the finish line.

Also, I enjoyed taking you girls fishing at Bird’s Pond, north of Stouffville, to see your faces when you caught a trout.

Dad, what's the best thing about being a father? What's the hardest thing?

The best thing is knowing that I have immediate family around as me and Mom grow older together, and the memories we share of us as a family together.

The hardest thing for me is that I worry so much that you girls are okay in your everyday life. Things like on a snowy day, I worry about you girls driving to work, etc. I worry about why you girls are sad and hurt. I feel your sadness and hurt. It’s hard to explain, but you have to have your own children to feel the happiness, hurt, and sadness like you have never felt before.

I never had a soft heart until I had children. You feel so much more when it comes to your children than you feel for yourself.

Dad, what advice would you pass along about being a parent?

Each kid you have is different. You must treat them all differently, but at the same time treat them all fairly. Love them equally, for all have different strengths and weaknesses.

Respect them and they will respect you. Treat their friends with kindness.

Always make them aware that you love them. Be there to support them and give advice when asked to do so, but at the same time give them some distance to grow, and respect their privacy when needed.  

Dad, what are some ways - good and bad - the world has changed since you were a kid?

Oh boy. Good: Most places today have flush toilets.

Good/Bad: Communications are now at our fingertips with cell phones, iPods, internet, Facebook – all good, but bad, because we do not have any privacy anymore with the advanced technology.

Bad: Everything today for the style of life we live is way too expensive, and fewer people each year can afford to keep up, even many who are working the average job are getting further and further in debt just to put food on the table and a roof over their head.

It was different years ago as we did not need much money. Life was simple and we had lots to eat, from the fresh fish at sea, wild meat, and by gardens we grew to prepare and preserve food for the winter. Money was not a necessity to survive, at least not a lot of money.

I like some change in the world today, but felt more secure in the old world I used to know as a kid.

Dad, how do you want future generations of your family to remember you?

As honest, hardworking, understanding of everyone regardless of their weaknesses. Peacemaker. Family always being the top priority in my life, followed by good friends.

A person who speaks his mind and who does say very little about other family members, as I have too many faults of my own to put down or condemn other family members.

A person that other family members could always come to for support or advice and know I will always be there for them to the point I would give my life for each and every one of them.

[Original goal list posted here.]