Completed #12: Make Polish barszcz

I've been to Poland twice. It's beautiful, and I've yet to meet a Pole I don't like.

However, of all the places I've ever travelled, I've been the least enamoured with Polish food.

That is, until I met my fiancé, Geoff. He's half Polish, on his mother's side, and my four years of Christmas Eve dinners have been really exciting.

See, I love beets. Beyond my family's own traditions of pickling them, I don't know much about preparing beets. However, I now eat bowl after bowl of Geoff's mom's barszcz, and so I wanted to learn how to make my own.

(I think this is also cool, in that if we have children, I'll be able to help Geoff infuse their lives with some of his Polish traditions alongside my own Quebecois Métis ones.)

I used this recipe, and - though Geoff's mom prepares it clear red - I decided to follow the direction to julienne and include the beets. (See: I love beets.)

I took this a step further, as I've always been intrigued by the inclusion of uszka (Polish translation: "little ears"), but I've thus far been unable to eat them because the dough often contains eggs. I used this recipe, which did not. 

I tailored my Fresh City Farms order this week to these two dishes and even dehydrated the mushrooms, as per the uszka recipe, last night. I also used chickpea flour, so mine were even gluten-free. (It was just what I had; I'm not totally anti-gluten. It may have tasted more appropriate with regular flour, I think. I just find chickpea flour still tastes vaguely of chickpeas.)

Anyway, I have no point of comparison for the uszka, but I think they turned out pretty well. I almost slammed my head down in defeat when I realized the recipe called for a rolling pin and I, baker of nothing, had none. Geoff figuratively stopped my head, mid-slam of defeat, by saying "Search DIY rolling pins!" 

I used a drinking glass. It was fine.

I also need here to note that, unfortunately, Geoff cannot verify if these are any good. My vegan self eats more variety than his non-vegan self, due to intense pickiness. He doesn't like mushrooms and he think barszcz looks like it is made of blood, so.

More for me.

Here are some photos. Please excuse my "fine china" (see: black plastic takeout container). My dishwasher is currently running.

Original goal list posted here

Progress: #42. Do more public speaking

Growth mindset theory says we should do more of the things at which we consider ourselves to be less skilled, as opposed to more of the things at which we consider ourselves to be more skilled. We should recognize that we are not naturally "good at" or "bad at" anything, and any acquired skill requires time and training. It sounds fairly logical, but aim to think about the amount of times you have said you are "bad at" art, or I have said I am "bad at" math. I went from knowing maybe 10 African countries and, maybe two hours of concerted study later, I knew them all. So can you. We aren't "bad at" geography. Why would we already know things we haven't actively bothered to learn? Much of learning does not arrive by osmosis.

Anyway. I have always been a word stumbler. I process slowly. I have not considered speaking to be the best way in which I can communicate. However, my job requires this on a daily basis, and 10 years of teaching + 4 years of Concurrent Education training have meant I have daily opportunties to be better. Granted, that crowd has never been larger than 33 people, and they are not my "peers".

I have been aiming to extend myself. Our poetry slam audience was easily 150+. As much as I wish I did, I do not like speaking before crowds. I am still a word stumbler. I still process slowly. I wish I could sound as thoughtful and knowledgeable as I factually know I am. However, my favourite speakers are often academics and often, in speaking one on one, I have viewed many to be without the humility that I think learning and communicating requires. I have often, in the past, defined myself by being studious and a high-achieving academic student. I think this was often because my greatest value in others - kindness - felt unachievable in myself. I am spirited. I am sensitive. I am stubborn. I have strong opinions and a temper. I often feel unkind.

However, I realized in a very considered fashion, more than a decade ago, that if my thoughts didn't translate to words properly or efficiently, I could not - and maybe did not even want to be - the "smart" teacher.

Maybe if I could not be the kind friend, or the kind stranger, or the kind daughter, as much as I always wanted to be -- maybe I could be the kind teacher.

So. If at the end of the day, I stumble over my words, and if I don't know everything, it's okay. If, as long as it seemed that I cared about what I was speaking, and I cared about to whom I was speaking, that has to be enough. I don't know everything. I'm always learning. I'm always trying very, very hard.

Most importantly, this is and has always been enough.

I told my students yesterday: When you are done being educated in institutions, you are not done learning.

In the spirit of growth mindset, as an anxious afterthought, I made this one of my last goals. I have said yes to things I other years would have not -- out of safety, out of feeling "bad at", out of thinking that I could not be better and my skills were fixed and finished in development.

All my life, I was told to try. Here I go:

Humberview Howl Podcast Interview, Part 1. Writer's Craft.

In 17 minutes, Humberview student Chris asks me questions about Writer's Craft and our poetry slam. (More importantly, you get to hear the top three student poems. Crack out the tissues.)


Original goal list posted here

Progress #19. Get married

Some DIY sneak peeks, in photos:

Original goal list posted here

Progress: #34. Try 10 different beading projects

5/10: Baby Elephant Medicine Pouch

Tomorrow I'm hanging out with my favourite tiny human while my sister, his mama, goes to her OB appointment.

I've not been feeling well the past couple days, but any time spent awake has been mostly spent crafting my favourite keepsake gifts for my first (and possibly only) niece, who should be born in the next week or two. Her name is Elspeth, so her medicine pouch is a baby Elspethephant, holding a heart.

I also made a jewellery / keepsake box of decoupaged stamps from all over the world: lots of animals and love and plants, a little indigeneity and some hockey -- because I don't know her yet, but I know her immediate family well, and she may love these things, by influence.

I also put in a little amber teething bracelet, which I traded for on Bunz for her ages ago.

See you soon, little one! Love, Auntie Amber.

Original goal list posted here