Monday, March 28, 2016

Progress: 7/30 - #18. read 30 texts that will aid in my teaching


Our 3Us do an independent study on a classic novel. I keep a list of ones I have read as recommendations. It is my most extensive list. There are, still, always more to add. Sometimes I end up basing my "to read" list on their own presentation coverage, when it sounds engaging. Flowers for Algernon wound up on my list through these means.

It is sad and beautiful. I've always loved books written in epistolatory style. It's always, to me, an even more intimate first-person portrayal. In this particular text, it's essential to really demonstrate a development of character and a subsequent tangible - and heartbreaking - degeneration.

I like its commentary, likely very progressive for its time, on the treatment of individuals with developmental exceptionalities. (I mean, I've been thinking lately about withdrawing from the midst of a system that says one thing and does another. That has buzzwords to please a certain segment of the population, while caring little about caring for another. Our children will grow to be adults in a world that does little to accommodate them, when no one is keeping tabs any longer. Maybe I will learn to make a difference - but not within a system I do not respect. I am being necessarily vague. I am working through what I think. Forgive me - books make me feel self-reflexive. I am midst-transformation, but I haven't yet figured out where I want to land.) Likely very progressive for 1959 - but have we changed? In almost sixty years, have we really changed anything substantial?

Four quotes that most struck me:

"I shouldn't have stayed, but it's hard to break the habit of listening, because people have always spoken and acted as if I weren't there, as if they never cared what I overheard." (67)

"It's more than that. I've been afraid before. Afraid of being strapped for not giving in to Norma, afraid of passing Howells Street where the gang used to tease me and push me around. And I was afraid of the schoolteacher, Mrs. Libby, who tied my hands so I wouldn't fidget with things on my desk. But those things were real - something I was justified in being afraid of. This fear at being kicked out of the bakery is vague, a fear I don't understand." (110)

"Sure, all this has changed me and the way I think about myself. I no longer have to take the kind of crap people have been handing me all my life." (123) 

"'You've become cynical,' said Nemur. 'That's all this opportunity has meant to you. Your genius has destroyed your faith in the world and in your fellow men.'
'That's not completely true,' I said softly. 'But I've learned that intelligence alone doesn't mean a damned thing. Here in your university, intelligence, education, knowledge, have all become great idols. But I know now there's one thing you've all overlooked: intelligence and ed­ucation that hasn't been tempered by human affection isn't worth a damn.'
I helped myself to another martini from the nearby sideboard and continued my sermon.
'Don't misunderstand me,' I said. 'Intelligence is one of the greatest human gifts. But all too often a search for knowledge drives out the search for love. This is something else I've discovered for myself very recently. I present it to you as a hypothesis: Intelligence without the ability to give and receive affection leads to mental and moral break­down, to neurosis, and possibly even psychosis. And I say that the mind absorbed in and involved in itself as a self-centered end, to the exclusion of human relationships, can only lead to violence and pain.'"
(249)







Friday, March 25, 2016

Progress: 6/30 - #18. read 30 texts that will aid in my teaching


In small groups called "Literature Circles", our grade 11s read texts and watch corresponding film versions to form the basis of a comparative essay. These text selections existed at this school before I did and, as such, some of them I have not read.

One of these, prior to this past week, was Alan Moore's Watchmen.

A not-so-secret is that one quarter of my bookshelf is filled with graphic novels. Another not-so-secret is that I used to long to be a graphic novelist.

That being said, superhero comics were often lost on me. This comes from the same rationale of a teenage version of self that craved [quote] reality [unquote] and thought science fiction was trivial. 

I did not understand.

I separated literature into such unspoken categories as "real" (because real equalled profound and profound equalled important) and "not real" (because not real equalled fantasy and fantasy equalled trifling).

I did not understand the psychology and the politics and the parody. 


Kids almost literally fight each other to be granted the privilege to read Watchmen. A small handful of pages in, I said to Geoff: "We give this to students to read and they don't complain? I'm so confused."

It's a process of unfolding. I want ready answers sometimes. I want to know I'm right. I want to know I'm right immediately. I'm entirely too black and white.

(... Which is why I suppose it makes perfect sense that my favourite character ended up being Rorschach?) 


I was wrong in my underestimation of how superheroes and science fiction and fantasy speak to the condition of being human - that they are, despite requiring imaginative stretch and a suspension of disbelief, more real sometimes than real: so prophetic and satirical and empathetic it hurts.


I wrote a pencilled point form list of aspects in this text that most got to me. In no particular order, it reads:
  • Hollis Mason's story about his regret over Moe Vernon's suicide
  • When Jon Osterman knows that he will be disintegrated in the test chamber, and he just wants Janey Slater to stay with him - he does not want to die alone
  • Hollis Mason's death on Hallowe'en - the broken pumpkin and his flashbacks to Nite Owl
  • Dr. Manhattan's meaning of human existence on an atomic level
  • Everything about Rorschach's childhood
I took photos to complement the parts that resonated with me that I couldn't really explain in words:






As a university student, I eschewed anything "post-modern". As an adult, my most favourite texts would tend to fall into this category: intertextuality; creating dialogues between text, image, and arrangement; juxtaposition to imply and make meaning; stories within stories as reflections of those stories. Watchmen contains all of these - and, in its intents and execution, is not so different than aspects I greatly appreciate in David Foster Wallace's mammoth Infinite Jest, or Mark Z. Danielewski's House of Leaves.

Geoff and I were just speaking of the idea that we, as human beings, probably cannot create new neural pathways if we take easy routes and refused to be challenged.

I am always learning and finding new value.

It's an ongoing battle to live in the greys - which is possible, so long as I permit myself to do so.



Next up: Watch the film?





Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Update: #30. make an updated website for my art

Despite its claim to get back to me in 72 hours, 120+ hours and one additional email later has yielded a tumbleweed-rolling-by utter silence from Go Daddy. 

Oh well. I'll add it to the mental list I'm keeping called "Mistruths of Late". (I figure, in the future, this could also be an appropriate band name. Failing that, well, a pretty rad name for a mix.)

ANYWAY. I slightly altered my domain name, courtesy of the lovely WebStarts.

I hereby officially introduce you to...



Visit. Share. Peruse. Maybe even buy?

New business cards are on the way, paid for courtesy of using eBay like a virtual garage sale - which is still working out for me like a piece of vegan carrot cake topped with toffutti cream cheese (aka awesomely). 

(Forgive the verbal splurge. I've spent almost 24 hours sleeping off a hardcore migraine and I talk to a grand total of three people lately, ever, pretty much.)



Friday, March 18, 2016

Completed: #30. make an updated web site for my art


Okay, friends. The bare bones of Treecycle Toronto's official site are currently up and running here. Eventually this will be replaced by an actual domain, but I'm waiting 72 hours to see if Go Daddy will relinquish the one that is no longer under my control there.

Let me preface this by saying I've built previous websites, since age 14, on various servers, with various programs, and taught myself basic html from viewing source codes and reading instructionals. I mean, website design was sort of in its infancy in terms of ease of use in 1998, so I had to be a little more adept then. Like a skill that lies dormant for so long, html coding isn't something I do much anymore - but I have built sites in templates since. I guess what I mean to say is that this isn't some giant unknown for me.

With that being said, I toyed around with Go Daddy's website builders for four or five hours, on two different browsers, with three different programs. I kept running into all sorts of system glitches and, as such, deemed it not user-friendly at all. I cancelled the account and requested a partial refund. Hopefully this will be honoured - but, if not, I'll simply regard it as one of many startup fees, because it was not worth the frustration.

WebStarts, on the other hand, ho-ly. I have never encountered a program and templates so incredibly user-friendly. I am confident that someone could walk into this with zero knowledge of web construction and have a decently beautiful and efficient site up and running in a matter of days. 

The options here start with "free basic site" and transcend to different monthly costs and privileges based on one's preferences. Now, I wanted a basic storefront for Treecycle that showcases products, allows for an order request form, has an "about" rationale, and links to all other places we're kicking around on the web.

Therefore, I bought their most basic plan at about $58 for the year. I have to give WebStarts mad comparative kudos, too, for their customer service. I clicked on something by accident (as I thought it was just being added to my cart for final consideration) and this feature was claimed instantly and charged to my credit card. I shot them an email explaining the situation and saying I wasn't interested - could they refund? They responded within about 20 minutes - sure, yeah, done, no problem! Thanks, WebStarts.

This basic plan also comes with a domain name. As aforementioned, I have not yet claimed mine with the hope that Go Daddy will relinquish my previous treecycletoronto.com domain, so that it matches my business cards.

If not, well, by Monday or Tuesday, I'll claim some close variation and reorder my cards. I'll let you know if / when that happens, and what happens.

Ah, startup costs. Troubleshooting costs.





If you want to see my most recent "art", click on "Products". 




[Original goal list posted here.]

Saturday, March 12, 2016

Multipurpose Update.

Hello. It has been awhile.

I have been enduring an unfathomable ordeal - but I suppose I should focus on the key word being "enduring". As Sia says, "I'll walk through fire to save my life."

This leaves me oscillating between fits of creativity and fits that, well, cannot be rightfully described as creativity - though they are, perhaps, creative. I don't know. 

(My sense of humour feels like a shallow pool right now. Forgive me.)


It is the March Break and I have been pouring whatever energy in me is not expended on nightmares into making products for my new small business, Treecycle Toronto. Here are some things I have been making, in photo form:









In positive news, the dentist gives my teeth and gums rave reviews. They're not kidding about mouthwash and flossing, friends. My inflammation has gone from 3mm to zilch in nine months. Yes, that's the best news I've received in about two weeks. (There wasn't much competition.)

ANYWAY. I'm here to remind myself that, should I be wanting of things to occupy my head this week, there is never any shortage. I am holding myself to nothing but getting through each day relatively unscathed, but here is a short list of 43things-inspired things I could choose from:
  • make an updated website for my art (my newest art being Treecycle)
  • read/highlight Chapter 3 of Capital and make notes
  • use my Wacom art tablet
  • go for a walk in High Park with Geoff and forage materials for tea
  • read more books
  • study Mi'kmaq language
  • use curlers
  • clean up / organize / revamp art studio
  • try embroidery

If I manage to do any of these - well, ain't that just vegan mushroom gravy.


P.S. Savanna and I are going to both a peyote beading workshop and a drum-making workshop in April, and I (as Treecycle) have some shows in May upcoming.


Endure. This too shall pass.